


"Oh" is for my heart ripping into shreds

by grumpy_trash



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, but this kinda hurt, don't know why, soorrrrry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-30 23:11:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15761655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumpy_trash/pseuds/grumpy_trash
Summary: "Oh" has a lot of meanings, Sooyoung's meaning is "Oh, you've ripped out my heart and stomped on it."





	"Oh" is for my heart ripping into shreds

"Oh."

 

Sooyoung's breath made a white cloud as she breathed out heavily, fingers intertwined with her uniform, having just gotten out of school.

Her eyes twitched to the happy person in front of her. "That's great."

 

It wasn't.

 

"I'm so happy for you."

 

She wasn't happy.

 

They looked at Sooyoung, their eyes shining brightly without a care in the world. "I just asked her, and...you know.. she said yes."

 

Her body felt numb, so numb in fact that if she wasn't holding onto the freezing bench in front of her, she might've fallen.

 

"So, you're dating now?" She inquired wryly, taking a deep breath of the cold air.

 

"Yep."

 

"Oh. No wonder you had to call me so quickly."

 

They shrugged, "I needed someone to talk about it with me, and besides, I'm finally back."

 

Surprisingly, Sooyoung's face was utterly calm, blank and not breaking down like her mental self. "Aish," She commented dumbly, fumbling for her phone, "I, uh, have to go to work now."

 

".. don't you have Saturdays off?"

 

"They called me in to fill for another."

 

It was a lie, but slightly true, the day was just off by a bit.

 

The person in front of them giggled, and began to wave as they backed away. "See you later then, we'll see you at the dance?"

 

"Sure." Probably not.

 

Sooyoung was left there with a throbbing chest and a headache that she couldn't control, her palms had stuck to the bench and it hurt pulling them off.

 

She ignored the buzzing from her pocket, opting to silence her phone away from the calls that either came from Seungwan or Joohyun. And Sooyoung sat there, downing in her own thoughts in the cold.

 

But as she trampled the good and the bad around in her mind until they had no clear line that separated them, Sooyoung noticed that even if she felt bad for a bit, all that was left was a headache, and then she realised that it was incredibly easy to fall out of love, it was simple and unlike the cheesy things that her friends gushed about, it wasn't a devastating thing.

 

And this marked the first time she'd ever fallen and then fallen out of love, Sooyoung liked to remember the date as, cold fingers, headache, and a happy giggle that wasn't her own.

 

Perhaps she wasn't in love.

.

 

It was pitch black when Sooyoung managed to get back to the apartment, clambering in through the unlocked door quietly and leaving her shoes at the rack. Her fingers were red and she felt achingly tired as she dragged herself along the hall. It took her a few moments before Sooyoung noticed the lights that flickered in the living room, the dull, void sound of the television talking about an advertisement. The sight that greeted her was enough to put a smile on her face.

 

The only person who would be staying up was sitting on the couch, wrapped in fluffy blue blankets and at the moment, a hand had reached out to snag a half empty water glass.

 

As soon as Joohyun spotted her watching from a distance, she patted the spot next to her, "Seulgi bailed on me," She mouthed, not daring to wake up the other girl.

 

Sooyoung just shrugged, padding over on socked feet to jump in the middle. "You smell good, unnie." She mumbled around the blankets and noted that the older girl didn't hear, but it was true. She smelled like fresh landrey and coffee from her job. The smells, logically, shouldn't have blended nicely, but it was Joohyun and Joohyun made everything nice.

 

"So uh.. my friend," Sooyoung took a breath, "they finally started dating my other friend."

 

In an instant, Joohyun had straightened, perking up before settling down once again, "Mmm.."

 

It was ironic, having the same feeling rush over her again.

 

"And..I don't feel bad about it, I'm just weirded out, I guess.."

 

Sooyoung blinked at the arm that curled around her waist, "You shouldn't worry, those things happen often." Joohyun chasted quietly, somehow understanding.

 

These few words made her feel better, it was strange, but Sooyoung chalked it up to Joohyun being Joohyun, and in the very back of her mind, remembered that she was dating Seulgi, why? She didn't know or question. (She hated lying, but she hated the tight knot in her stomach even more)

 

Sooyoung forcedly pushed down the feeling. Nestling deeping into the blanket, she forgot that Joohyun was next to her, and managed to pull up even closer.

 

She woke up like this, her phone ringing loudly and her arms empty of a small figure.

 

Her head hurt a tiny bit, but she tugged out the mobile and flicked it on.

 

(Wendyisnotsobendy)

 

{9:15pm, Yesterday} Are you alright?

 

{9:30pm, Yesterday} Have you eaten?

 

{8:15am} Don't make me come over there.

 

 

(Sootan)

 

{8:20am} Yeah yeah, Im fine, unnie. Just was busy.

 

Sooyoung set down the phone, smiling a tiny bit at her over protective friend, who, in fact was her only caring friend, Yerim was just a brat acting cute.

 

When the older girl didn't answer straight away, Sooyoung instantly realised that she had to change and quickly hopped up from the sofa before zooming down the hall. Her door creaked open (it was creepy) like always, and she grumbled out a form of words before disappearing.

 

When Sooyoung did appear again, she was brushing her teeth and suddenly recalled the texts from Joohyun that she'd received (and ignored) on the other day and she quickly barrelled through the hall to get to the sofa. Sooyoung pounced, digging at the loose phone and tapped rapidly at her screen, snickering around the foaming toothbrush once again at the name that she had dubbed her older sister's girlfriend.

 

(oldmaid)

 

{9:10pm, Yesterday} Sooyoung-ah, did you eat? You should come back, Seulgi got food.

 

{9:15pm, Yesterday} Sooyoung-ah, I texted Seungwan, you aren't answering her either?

 

{9:20pm, Yesterday} Aish, just don't come home at two.

 

Sooyoung winced, she hadn't come home at two, she'd come home at three because of an issue with one of her classes papers (it took five hours of food, stress and an annoying yerim plus a helpful seungwan)

 

{10:00pm, Yesterday} Stay safe, Sooyoung-ah.

 

When the realisation of minty foam dribbling down the side of Sooyoung's mouth made her stop staring at the texts, she finally trudged back to the bathroom.

 

Seulgi barely even texted her, and *she* was Sooyoung's sister, no kidding, she was sweet but quite uninterested in her life. It didn't help that the younger girl was a university student while the older was a fully working adult, the only thing that actually connected them were family, living together and Joohyun (albeit, Sooyoung barely even saw Seulgi).

 

Would it be wrong to say that she didn't mind? Sooyoung shrugged, watching herself in the mirror before she remembered she was staring at herself. Her mother always said that having bad thoughts in front of a mirror wasn't good luck (plus, Yerim would most definitely call her phycopathic the next time they saw each other).

 

She muttered something along the lines of "get it together" and splashed her face.

 

The sounds of banging indicated that the older two were up, and surprisingly when Sooyoung walked out and into the living room, her sister was there on the sofa.

 

"Oh." Sooyoung's eyebrows raised, "Hi, I didn't expect for you to be here."

 

Seulgi just smiled, "Joohyun was too attractive to leave." She replied freely, smirking a bit when the oldest popped her head out from behind the kitchen wall.

 

"Gross." Sooyoung made a disgusted face, ignoring the two's face off as she left to the kitchen before nosing around. Coming across a box of choco pies, she plucked one up and shoved the box back into place.

 

Sooyoung probably shouldn't have walked back into the living room, it was gross; the pair was snuggling, looking entirely too happy for a sunday morning. The one second that she shuffled in, she started to shuffled back just as quickly.

 

"Hey hey, wait a second."

 

Seulgi's command halted her, and she turned back.

 

"We nearly never get to see you anymore, ever since the last year of high school, so come sit down."

 

It was at these times, Sooyoung really hated that her timing was off, "Okay." She muttered, taking long strides before plopping down on the arm of the sofa.

 

"We have something to tell you." Joohyun's smile was glittery and Sooyoung wondered if she should keep holding on to the knot that made itself throb when she saw it.

 

"I- uh..have something to say too." She gulped, perhaps it would be the best time. "But you guys go first."

 

Sooyoung honestly wished she hadn't said that, but she did and there was no time travel that could stop what happened.

 

"We're engaged."

 

Ooo. That hurt.

 

Terribly.

 

Sooyoung thought that her heart had been broken already, if it wasn't, this had shattered it.

 

"I'm moving."

 

"What?"

 

All three of them stared at each other.

 

"You don't need to mov-"

 

"Yes." Sooyoung interrupted her sister with a emotionless stare, "Yes I do, and this is even more of a reason why I should. You need your privacy, I'm living here for free. Yerim has already agreed, we're splitting the rent, besides, it's super close and you can finally move to that special place you two have always wanted."

 

It wasn't closer, but they didn't need to know.

 

Sooyoung pushed off of the arm, "I'm happy for you."

 

She was, on the outside.

 

"I'll tell you the dates later."

 

She would, but over text.

 

Sooyoung snatched her phone, smiling a tight-lipped smile before bowing formally to the two of them and rushing out the door into the cold.

 

Evilbrat

 

{9:01am} I'll accept the offer you made

 

In an instant, she received a text back,

 

{9:02am} ah so finally broke? I told u that living with ur sister would have problems

 

{9:05am} They're getting married, i can't do anything about that

 

{9:05am} hah. I just realised,

 

{9:06am} i can't do anything.

 

 

Sooyoung closed her eyes, feet finding the spot where she had her heart broken the very first time.

 

Same bench.

 

Same two people.

 

Same predicament.

 

This time? Sooyoung was leaving her feelings behind because, who really wants to live with the love of your life marrying your sister.

 

And, for real this time. Sooyoung realised how easy you could fall out of love.

 

"Oh."

.

 

"Oh" holds a number of meanings.

 

This story however contains the meaning of,

 

"Oh"

 

"My heart is ripped to pieces, but I won't tell you because I don't want to ruin your happiness and because I'm in love with you."


End file.
